Worst blogger award goes to.......ME

Sorry guys, I have been a crappy blogger these days. I have an ultrasound appt on Tuesday to check my lining, and if all goes well, transfer on the 3rd. Im just not as into it this time. I just don't feel the excitement, like I did before.  I had my hopes so high for our last FET, that it hurt so bad, if I don't get excited, maybe it wont hurt so much. I did everything last time, acupuncture, special foods, 2 days of bedrest. This time I am not doing any of that. I am not going to let my life be controlled by infertility anymore. It's hard to explain how I feel these days, Im not longer saddened by peoples pregnancies, or their babies, I am no longer jealous,  I no longer secretly wish all pregnant woman would go away...LOL Im hopeful for the future, but no longer disappointed with  right now.  Im just taking everything one day at a time. Last FET, it was all I could talk about. Everyone in my real/online life knew down to the second what was happening. This time is just different, I've kept it to myself for the most part, and I kinda like it better that way, no pressure. I still do have those few friends who ask, and I am happy to talk about it, but for the most part I keep it between me, Kyle and my mom.

Ill try to be better at blogging from now on. I follow a few blogs who should win awards for best bloggers ever....LOL Ill update Tuesday after my appt......Prayers for a thick lining would be appreciated.